The political columnist as he sees himself
Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 6:22 am
And if it's never been done before, how can you be accused of repeating yourself?
You're a smart guy. You can't be fooled.
But, columnist, don't worry! There's still going to be some originality in what you say on TV, in the newspapers, and on the radio. Because we're going to offer you the best thing ever: a reshuffle! You know, that thing that has never answered anything at all but that everyone is still waiting for. Well, you won't say that, because the reshuffle is such a good subject that we shouldn't deprive ourselves of it. In short, you'll be able to comment on a big game of musical chairs. And since you're incredibly original, columnist, when b2b email list we talk to you about Laurent Fabius's appointment, you'll make a speech about " experience ." If I were you, I'd rather make a spiel about how wanting to embody renewal by appointing a guy who was already prime minister thirty years ago is still vaguely taking the piss, but you don't care: you comment without getting too involved, even if you claim the opposite. You're not going to point out the absurdities, damn it! Hey, and you know what? Maybe they'll also bring back friend Aubry or friend Royal? That would be cool, a government supposed to stem the famous "rise of the FN" in which we recall people who were already in charge twelve years ago (how time flies, isn't it?) and who, precisely, took a " historic " beating during a " rise of the FN ".
I don't know about you, political columnist, but when I lose the war, I avoid recalling the generals who suffered failure after failure or those who are starting to smell of raisins.
So obviously, my good man, you will say to me " Yes, but if I don't talk about that, what am I talking about? "
Well, guess what? After predicting your editorial, I'm also going to predict what's going to happen this week in the town halls that just changed hands. It's a pretty sight: you could see it all by taking your bike and an hour of your time.
Do you know which department is the busiest after a change of leadership within a city hall? The elections department? The legal department? No: it's the IT department.
Between the guy who installed Angry Birds or watched Youporn on the work iPad and would prefer it not be known, and the guy who really needs to make all his emails disappear without exception, they're working hard. Besides, the new team will be surprised when they take over that they have such fast computers: they'll have a completely clean installation, I predict that too. Yes, I'm very good. Some will even have a new hard drive. It's crazy, isn't it? Do you like these kinds of little details? I'll give you another one to comment on: take a good look at your region's website.
You're a smart guy. You can't be fooled.
But, columnist, don't worry! There's still going to be some originality in what you say on TV, in the newspapers, and on the radio. Because we're going to offer you the best thing ever: a reshuffle! You know, that thing that has never answered anything at all but that everyone is still waiting for. Well, you won't say that, because the reshuffle is such a good subject that we shouldn't deprive ourselves of it. In short, you'll be able to comment on a big game of musical chairs. And since you're incredibly original, columnist, when b2b email list we talk to you about Laurent Fabius's appointment, you'll make a speech about " experience ." If I were you, I'd rather make a spiel about how wanting to embody renewal by appointing a guy who was already prime minister thirty years ago is still vaguely taking the piss, but you don't care: you comment without getting too involved, even if you claim the opposite. You're not going to point out the absurdities, damn it! Hey, and you know what? Maybe they'll also bring back friend Aubry or friend Royal? That would be cool, a government supposed to stem the famous "rise of the FN" in which we recall people who were already in charge twelve years ago (how time flies, isn't it?) and who, precisely, took a " historic " beating during a " rise of the FN ".
I don't know about you, political columnist, but when I lose the war, I avoid recalling the generals who suffered failure after failure or those who are starting to smell of raisins.
So obviously, my good man, you will say to me " Yes, but if I don't talk about that, what am I talking about? "
Well, guess what? After predicting your editorial, I'm also going to predict what's going to happen this week in the town halls that just changed hands. It's a pretty sight: you could see it all by taking your bike and an hour of your time.
Do you know which department is the busiest after a change of leadership within a city hall? The elections department? The legal department? No: it's the IT department.
Between the guy who installed Angry Birds or watched Youporn on the work iPad and would prefer it not be known, and the guy who really needs to make all his emails disappear without exception, they're working hard. Besides, the new team will be surprised when they take over that they have such fast computers: they'll have a completely clean installation, I predict that too. Yes, I'm very good. Some will even have a new hard drive. It's crazy, isn't it? Do you like these kinds of little details? I'll give you another one to comment on: take a good look at your region's website.