Exodus: Gods, Kings and Drugs

[rosebaby3892]

To begin this article, a brief disclaimer.

If you're an Egyptologist, run away. Archaeologist? Run away too, even if it's not your favorite field. Historian? Geographer? Let's not talk about it. The same goes for Bible readers, since, as is the tradition of this blog, here we'll only be talking about the movie, not the best-selling book from which the story is based (but which is a bit lacking in erotic fanfiction, I think). If you've ever been to buy bulk sms service Egypt, if you've ever enjoyed reading about Egypt, or even if you've ever heard of Egypt, run away too.

On the other hand, if you are none of these things, like, for example, a... uh... let's say... a boletus. There you have it, a boletus that left its undergrowth to go up to the capital and make a success of its career as an opera singer, yes, then you might have a chance of finding this film okay.

In short, if you're not afraid to watch a movie where, from the very first scene, the pyramids have no place there (but it's like the Eiffel Tower in Paris: in movies, everyone has a view of it), where the costumes are more than questionable and where the geography is taken from a Toto joke, then in this case, let's talk about Exodus: Gods & Kings . And let's see if the script makes up for the packaging. Because if in the most vile of cases, we can find the most beautiful of gifts, we can still also find a big steaming turd.

So, divine vision or eleventh plague of Egypt? Spoilers, my dears!


The poster: Note the small stones flying between the two characters, in a "something just exploded" fashion. It's probably an ancient mortar shell. Otherwise, the viewer wouldn't understand that it's war.
Our film opens with people being whipped, probably the best explanation for the presence of the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer just before the film. But here, no fetishism: these are slaves being mistreated by Egyptian foremen. And brief black screens inform us that we are in 1300 BCE, in Egypt, and that for 400 years the Hebrews have been used as cheap labor, since they are only very rarely unionized and have no wage demands, making them the walking allegory of an Alain Madelin wet dream. That said, all these poor people, all this dust... let's get out of here, my good ones! Let's go see what's going on in the Pharaoh's palace instead.